Did you watch it? Did you tune in for the sexiest night of television? Nearly 19 million people sat at home on Tuesday night to watch the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show. For weeks we've been impatiently waiting to see the long-legged angels strut down the runway. We've all seen the behind-the-scenes photos and had fun with the little online videos, but enough with the teasing. Let's get to the real stuff. Ok, I have a confession to make. I actually didn't watch the darn thing. Unlike the golden days of yore, the show doesn't do anything for me anymore. The over-the-top costumes, the abundance of push-up bras, all the feathers and jewels. It's just too much, but it's still missing the mark. I've come to realize that Victoria's Secret and I don't have the same relationship we used to. Gosh, this feels like we're breaking up. Don't worry, Vicky it's me not you.
Over the years I've come to expect more from the brand but accepted less. VS once dazzled us with amazonian women like Tyra and Heidi Klum who had curves and pizzazz. Now we're supposed to be entertained by crazy party girl Cara Delevigne. She's no angel. In fact, Cara reminds me of this one friend I had back in college. She was a riot, but so unpredicatable that you didn't want her showing up when your parents came to visit. Geez. Anyway, the gigantic angel wings used to be a favorite of mine. Oh how they bounce and add such drama as the models walk down the runway, but now they look ridiculous. You can't strap a bunch of emoticons to a girl's shoulders and call those wings. Are you crazy?! Obviously that whole section of the show was not intended for my demographic. Neither were the musical performances. Taylor Swift and Fall Out Boy are definitely not on my sexytime playlist. After hearing all the hype and seeing way too many sneak peeks before the show even aired, I opted to sit this one out. If you think you missed out, here are some highlights.
Vicky, we've got to fix our relationship. I've got a few ideas. Stop trying so hard. To hold my attention all you've got to do is keep it simple and classy. I don't want to see little skinny girls pretending to be sexy, give me the real thing. I want real curves, real personality, variety, and music that I actually like. Also in the words of Tupac "I don't want it if it's that easy." We've seen so many photos and teasers from the show, that I don't even need to watch the actual show. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? I'm not saying that the fashion show wasn't a bit fun. It definitely had its moments. All I'm saying is that it could be better... way better. Stop selling yourself short.
What did you think of the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show?
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