Dear Fairy Model Mother: I'm Different

she doesn’t think she’s beautiful
because of a birthmark
that takes up a little less than half of her face
kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer
that someone tried to erase

I've always been a bit "different" from others. When I was a really little kid, I was shy and quiet. In all my pictures I did this sort of half nervous smile thing. It's as if I was already afraid of everyone because I knew what was coming. Once I hit elementary school, the taunting really started. With every new freckle on my face, the name-calling from other kids got worse. My book smarts and my complexion only added to make the situation worse. I knew that my mother and sister had gone through this before me, but I wasn't sure I could do it. My freckled light skin wasn't quite thick enough.

Other kids looked at me like I was an alien. I was tall and skinny with reddish hair and spots on my face. "Black people don't have freckles" or "you act like a white girl" were a few of the things I heard from my classmates. My mom encouraged me to keep up with my schoolwork, and if anyone hit me then I should hit them back and make sure it hurt. If things got too tough for me to handle, then I should tell my teacher. I eventually learned how to maneuver out of difficult situations. I just kept thinking what would Martin Luther King or Gandhi do? Over time, I collected a great group of friends who were just as different as me and who knew what it was like not to fit in. We were bright, outspoken, and didn't need anyone else's approval to know we were doing things right. I knew they had my back and they knew I had theirs.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I get this Facebook wall post from my friend who's a a teacher in Texas that reads "So glad I have a famous model friend I can use in my English lesson :)" She went on to explain "They are finishing a poem called 'To This Day,' and it's about kids being picked on. There is this one line that reads 'she doesn’t think she’s beautiful because of a birthmark that takes up a little less than half of her face. kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer that someone tried to erase.' So I'm using your Tyra Banks interview to show how beauty is different and how you're a super model even though people picked on you because of your freckles."

The tears immediately came flooding from my eyes. This friend and I had been through a lot together as teens. We'd both been teased for being "different" and I'd always admired her tenacity for calling someone out for being mean and wrong. The fact that she used my story as an example for her class is such an honor. If it hadn't been for good friends and supportive family, I wouldn't have made it through all the picking and bullying. Theirs were the voices that harmonized with my inner thoughts telling me it was okay to be me and that I'd keep on keeping on no matter what those naysayers said.


If you know a kid or even an adult that others are constantly teasing, stand beside that person and encourage them when no one else does. Let them know there is light in all the darkness. We are all human beings even if some of us look like we're from another planet. We all have insecurities and hangups, but that doesn't mean we should talk down to each other. I'm glad i had people who lifted me up when others were trying their darndest to keep me down. Thanks for that, friends. I wouldn't be where I am without you.

Red Velvet Kitty

Cold weather, clouds, and darkness. My entire wardrobe has gone from brightness to nearly all black in the just one month. I've also noticed that my face is starting to lose its color too. No, no. This will never do. Although I love deep autumn tones, my beauty habits don't need to turn grey and boring. I was digging through my closet the other night and I found this great pair of cheetah print heels with scarlet stems that inspired me. Why not try a sort of spicy red with a hint of pink on my lips? Rich golden honey-kissed skin, messy brows, tempting eyes with a flirty red velvet pout. Yes please.

Normally I just wear a bit of gloss. It's easy and never gets old. But a red lip is so classic. It can take any outfit and automatically kick it up a notch. Now I know what you're thinking. How do you find the perfect shade of red? This decision not only has a lot to do with your complexion, but also your mood. I like to think of it as "The Hunt for Red October". You don't want something too springy but you also don't want a red tone that does nothing to complement your face. I stray away from reds with too much blue that will make me look more dead than alive. I also wait to put on lipstick until I'm fully dressed. You've got to make sure the red matches your clothes, right.

For this look, I literally grabbed an affordable lipstick from a drugstore when I was heading out for the night. The color is Red Velvet by Wet n Wild, and it's perfectly priced when you just want to try something but don't want to invest too much money. It stays put so I don't have to reapply between cocktails. Like with any other bold color, keep the rest of your face simple. I always do a bit of bronzer on my cheeks and my eye lids, a little black eyeliner on my lower lashes and then lengthening lash mascara. Throw on this cute little kitty mask, and I'm purrfect. See how just the right red lip can make such a difference. Kiss-kiss.

Barely There

Good morning, sunshine. It's time to get that sleepy head out of bed. Now before you start with your daily routine, stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Ah ah ah. Don't pick at that pimple that crept up in the middle of the night. Stop scrunching up your face and obessing over those microscopic wrinkles on your forehead. Just stand back and take in your own reflection like you're looking at a piece of art at a museum. Isn't it just beautiful? So why is it that you pile on layer upon layer of makeup everyday?

Don't get it twisted...I absolutely adore makeup. I check out beauty blogs on the regular. The use of colors, contouring, and shading to highlight your greatest features is just fantastic. But what irks me is slapping on too much makeup. Girl, why do you do that to yourself? You do realize that even RuPaul doesn't wear that much face. I mean, really? It's one thing to wear a splash of color here or there on a night out, but when you're wearing a full mask out to work everyday... That's just ridiculous.

How about we try something new. We're going for less in more and the "barely there" makeup look. Pick only 5 or 6 things to use on your face. Let's try a cream blush, a highlighter, mascara, lip gloss, and maybe a tinted moisturizer. Skip the heavy foundation and go for Urban Decay's Urban Defense Tinted Moisturizer that's paraben free and light reflecting for a great complexion. I love playing up my eyes, so I add a little highlighter at the inner corners and just below my eyebrows. In this case I used Wet n Wild Bronzer in Reserve Your Cabana. Then I add some oomph to my lashes with this Megalength mascara also by Wet n Wild. Wondering about that clear mascara? I use Maybelline Great Lash mascara to tame my eyebrows and add a little shine. Then dab a little Urban Decay Glide-On Cheek Tint and lip gloss from Forever 21, and I'm good to go.

The trick is instead of trying to cover everything, you're just bringing out what you already have. You don't want to look at yourself and only see makeup. You actually want to see your face. Go for products that nourish and moisturize and steer clear of anything that will dry you out. Treat your skin with love everyday, and then you won't actually be afraid of what you see in the mirror.